This is one of those posts I started and never  finished.  I've got lots of those.

Today has been one of "those" days. Jack began the demolition of the kitchen last night so everything kitchen is out in the sunroom which will be my home for the next 4-5 weeks. Anyhow, I think I honestly just woke up cranky. Nothing bad happened. I volunteer every Tuesday at my kids classes and today neither teacher had a whole lot for me to do. It was probably a blessing in disguise. I went grocery shopping instead.

I have to laugh at myself. For the first time, I went to a store to purchase "freezer" meals. I was so embarrassed and I don't know why. I have never purchased a meal that you throw in the oven and its done an hour later and vwah-la! But with my kitchen a mess that's what I'm resorting too. Now in order to not offend in a PC world, I have to say "there's nothing wrong with freezer meals" and "I have a lot of friends which do the freezer meal thing on a regular basis" (which is true) but I have not! I've taken pride, obviously if I'm writing a post about it, that i make things from scratch and they taste great! However, going through the store i felt like I needed to explain myself to the checkout lady that my kitchen is being remodeled so I have to buy these things to make it easier. One, does she care? Two, who do I think I am? I'm assuming a lot of people go this route or there wouldn't be such a market for them. Anywho...I thought that was a tad prideful and funny of me that it was such a big moment for me. On to better things.

I lost my iphone. HELLO!!! It truly is sad to say that my life is on that thing! But it is and I was so scared that I lost it! I called and called and texted from Jacks phone to the person who had it to please call my husbands phone number, but I put a security code on it so you can't get to the phone book even if you do want to be honest. CRAP! I even had the 'find my iphone app" on it, but apparently set it up under jacks ID so when I went to look for it it told me my husband was on the interstate on his way home. how helpful. After stressing for five hours a man picked up the phone and said all was well.

Farewell kitchen.

Sadi turned three in June.  I just wanted to get it recorded.  Dora everything (she still loves Dora)

My fourth cake.  I'm totally a novice, but still so proud!

However, my niece totally couldn't tell who she was.  Apparently not as good as I thought!

Our surprised faces.

You can't see!

Her birthday present amongst a few other things.  I love her helmet!

Jack was thinking out loud last night how he hopes that we get to replay our lives when we die because he forgets so many of the cute things that our kids do that make him smile...somehow that led to "Jami, you should start blogging again." So I woke up this morning with the mild flu, meaning I need to puke but haven't yet, and since I am spending all my time in bed today I figured I might as well cause I've really wanted to, too. However, most of our pics are on our desktop so I've picked one to represent each kid. No particular order.

Sadi

Since we left California Sadi has most definitely had the roughest adjustment.  She seemed out of sorts and sad for quite some time.  She still asks me several times a week if we can go see Kennedy (in Cali). However, she's made some friends and is in preschool and is now so excited to be in primary at church. She took up skiing a few weeks ago and LOVES it.  She laughs her head off the whole way down the mountain and Jack loves teaching her.    

Jackson

This pic is from his Christmas program at school.  He was so excited for weeks and sang all of his songs at the top of his lungs and made me smile.  When we lived in California, we were really excited to move for Jackson's sake.  He does not do well in closed quarters.  He wanted freedom to go outside and explore and he is so much more content where he is now.  He is so happy!  We used to pretty consistently have knock down drag out fights and they are RARE now which is so great.  He is also taking ski lessons this winter and he loves it.  He's so dang coordinated and picks up on athletic activities so quick!  I absolutely love his kindergarten teacher.  I go in every Tuesday for an hour to volunteer and it is so fun to sit and watch that lady in action.  She is the best!   Jackson loves her and comes home and tells me secret stories that she made up (they're for reading sounds like th and sh) (nothing creepy) in class that are hilarious.

Emma

I could have chosen several pics of Em's and one I probably should have with her horse.  She began taking riding lessons in October and loved it so much and actually did really well.  However, after only two lessons she broke her arm at school AGAIN and I haven't put her back in.  Now that the craziness of holidays are over we'll work on that.   This was supposed to be one of her pictures on her baptism announcement that I never did and sent out.  I'm so bad at that! However,  she is such a pretty girl and I had to share.  She was baptized in September at Martin's Cove which was a very cool experience!  I'll TRY to post on that.  Such a good girl.  Hit her 4th year of violin and she is awesome!  I'll put some of that on here too. Oh and she is skiing, too, but not loving it (hopefully YET) as her siblings, but we'll see.  She likes it enough to keep going and that's good enough for me.  I love hard workers!

Smith

This man is so his mamma's boy!  He didn't crawl til 10 months and has still not taken up walking (going on 15 mo).  Wouldn't be so bad but I herniated a disc in my back and should not carry him, but what else can I do?  He is so talkative and loud and has to consistently be taken out of class at church because no one can hear over his comments. Guess he just loves the sound of his own voice (did that come from me or Jack? please don't answer that)  He is so sweet though and loves to pass out kisses to his family.

One recent funny story:  We had THE TALK with Emma in November and it was and has been great. She is so open which is just what I want, but thinks that she has a say now on what goes on behind closed doors between Jack and me. Anyway, last week we were having a discussion about Adam and Eve and the commandments they received in the Garden of Eden.  One was to multiply and replenish the earth...I explained what that meant.  Jackson responded with "Mom, do you think you'll have any more babies grow inside your tummy?"  My response is just "I hope so."  Emma's response "That would be so cool.  Then Mom, you and dad could do that special hug we talked about...Jackson you'll learn about it in a few years.  It is CRAZY!"

I died laughing.

Happy Birthday, baby! I can't tell you how happy I am to be your mom! I love you, Smitty! Love, Mom

Live and Learn

So since my last post quite a bit has happened. For those who do not know we are moving to Casper, WY in less than three weeks. It is so bittersweet. I have looked forward to this part of life (you know...the part where you're no longer in school and your husband works a normal 8-5 job) since we first got married. It's really fun because for years we have stayed up late talking about what it will be like when the time comes and now that it's here we are still staying up late and kind of in awe that we made it and it's here and we LOVE looking at new pics of our house which I am WAY excited about! But life never really slows down. It seems like I am living in chaos with boxes everywhere and bare walls and an incredibly disgusting messy house. Jack and I have a deal that he packs the boxes (I'm a crappy box packer, apparently) and I unpack the boxes which I want anyway so I put things where I want them. I imagine it will be somewhat like The Incredibles when I call him three years down the road and tell him we are officially moved in and the last box is unpacked.
So I am still in that contemplation mode that I talked about in my last post. Almost three weeks ago my cousin delivered a little baby boy at 27 weeks old. He was so perfect. They got to be with him six days before he passed. My heart ached for them and I prayed and cried and hoped that they could feel the love and support from people even far away, like myself. Jack and I decided when the little Ethan passed that I really needed to go up and support Geoffrey and Sharee (their link is on my sidebar if you're curious). My dad told Geoff I was coming and Geoff asked me to sing at his burial service with one of his friends and that was a huge honor for me. The viewing and service was so tender. It just does not look right seeing that teeny little baby in a casket. My heart broke watching my cousin and his wife carry his casket in their arms. It just seems like they shouldn't have to endure a pain like that. And yet, it is not my plan. I'm so not in charge. And while it may not have been their plan either I have to put faith where faith is needed and just say he was too good for this earth. I am a firm believer that we chose many of our trials before we came to this earth and I imagine he volunteered to be the one for his family to pass on and help from the other side. I've often thought the same thing of my little brother who has had two brain tumors and battles daily with the affects from that. I think he chose that and is protected because of that and I think he was the best one in my family that stood up and said if this is what my family needed to come unto the Savior then he would do it. They are heros.
So Geoff gave me a few days notice and I sang the song several times throughout the week, "Families Can Be Together Forever" just to make sure I could make it through without crying, but just couldn't make it happen. The morning I was scheduled to fly out I was singing the song while doing the dishes and when I finished the second verse, I kept going on to a third. Now, I am no song writer. I've never written a song. But it came out so perfectly and naturally that I stopped what I was doing and began writing. I had a third verse especially for them. Bu I was so nervous. I AM NOT A SONG WRITER and I was so scared that it would be weird. I ran it past a few family members who said it was great, but really? What else are they gonna say? Anyway, I was determined that when I got together to practice with the other guy that I would introduce it to him. But that never happened. Our schedules never worked out and in my head I was battling up until the moment that I sang. But I completely chickened out. I didn't do it and I'm so sad that I didn't follow through. One day, I will record it for them. They're pretty fantastic people. Democrats, but fantastic (I had to make fun of that cause I know they read my blog).
As the time is dwindling down, I knew we were going to be asked to speak and it came and is now gone. Jack and I were the speakers on Easter Sunday and we also sang "I Know That My Redeemer Lives." Then to top off an already busy week, Jack taught in Elders Quorum and I in Young Women. It was a fantastic Easter Sunday. I think because I was mentally and spiritually prepared for it. I got to think about and study talks on the Savior's resurrection and found the perfect one for me to speak on. Absolutely fantastic read: Elder Jeffrey R Holland's "None Were With Him." In fact, if you youtube "the easter message-none were with him," I guarantee you will feel better and blessed and be better for watching it. I felt so much gratitude and now have a better understanding and stronger testimony that I KNOW and am reassured yet again, that I have a Savior and Redeemer. And it is because of Him that I have a family that can be together forever. That, to me, is the most precious gift anyone could possibly ever offer because I would do anything for my family and would feel so lost if I didn't have the assurance that I will see my husband and my children again after we pass through this life. I've got one beautiful family and I'm squeezing them a little tighter each day as I'm trying to count my blessings and they are at the top.



PS do you like my new hat? Jack got it for me on his Costa Rica trip and it actually swears at me in really artsy handwriting on the bill. He had no idea which just makes it cute and funny to me.

I think it has been forever since I have posted. I have a kazillion things to always say, but for some reason it sounds retarded (shocker!) when i get it down. I've been in quite the reflective mode for some time now and a few thoughts are coming out tonight.
First of all, I cannot get over how blessed I truly am. I am married to the only man who truly caught my eye, who is my best friend, and who I am always humbled with the amount of love and affection and loyalty that he has for me. I have always felt like Jack could really see who I was even past the facade that i felt like I needed to display at one point in my life. And he loves the real me. And that means a lot to a person who is very unsure of herself in so many ways.
Next, my kids are the most awesome ever. You may disagree with me because of some bias towards your own, But sorry, it's just not true. Each one of my kids is so different. I've never been a person who goes by the book (which I've for the most part thought was bogus cause I think its a crap shoot for all of us)...i'm more of a shoot from the hip kind of a gal. That being said, I am happy that the more kids that I have, I am becoming the parent that I want to be. I really am getting better at it. In fact, our next door neighbor came over today to tell me that my almost 5 year old was stuck up on the cement wall that divides our houses and that he needed help getting down. It makes me laugh. Jackson can scale our rod iron fence with his toes and pull himself up onto the roof by balancing on the toes of one foot like its no big thing. So I went to the back honestly expecting that he was stuck like our neighbor said he was, but he was leaning against the roof of their house six feet above the ground in his dark bad guy spiderman costume chewing on a piece of grass. Seriously? Where did he come from? We need trees to climb, dangit!
I think something that I truly appreciate the most is the Savior said to come unto him as a little child. Two examples in the last few days. Jack and I MAJORLY got after Emma and sent her and the other kids to bed early. I went in quite sometime later to turn off lights and she was in her bed writing us a letter telling us that she loved us. Talk about humility. She was such a good example. Yet another. We got after Jackson tonight at dinner for acting inappropriate and we were probably a little too hard. He didn't even want to eat dinner anymore and he wouldn't allow us to hug him for a while. Anyhow, after eating his dinner I told him he could have a popsicle and he broke it in half and gave it to Jack. It was so perfect. Nothing was said he just had moved on and was being perfectly sweet. I love that boy.
At church I was feeling a little sad. We have only four Sundays left before we move from Cali. There are so many reasons why I can't wait to move. We are really excited to start the part of life that we have been working toward our whole married life. However, I have made so many dear friends that it breaks my heart to leave. I love women the women in my church. The women that I have worked with in Young Women the last four years are AMAZING. They are some of my favorite people. There is always the fear when I move and leave those that mean so much to me. I think I know that there are good people everywhere, but is there going to be a friend who gets me and loves me anyway? I'm starting a prayer for that one already!

LOVE IT!!!