A Little about My Love!

Can I just say that I love my husband SO MUCH? I'm always so impressed with his incredible attitude about life. He spends more time with his kids than any father I know and takes any and every opportunity to race home to see his family and we just adore him. Ever since I met Jack one of the things that has impressed me most about him is his sincerity and integrity. I really believe that he is living his life HONESTLY in EVERYTHING he does. He is constantly evaluating himself and talking to me about things he can do better and his plan for him to get there. Especially since tomorrow is our five year anniversary and because of our situation here in Idaho, I wanted to write something about my husband because I appreciate him so much. Many of you know it was a LONG road for us to get married. We only dated a year before we got engaged, but that was ONE LONG YEAR!!! We fought to stay together and I'm so glad we did because marriage has been a cake walk compared to that!

I remember after we first got married and got pregnant so fast that I was working full time and was SO TIRED. And every night he would make dinner and let me go to bed as soon as it was over and I'm sure it was not fun (actually, I know it wasn't because he has the worst memories of that time), but it was because of him that I made it through those first few months. And it was so fun moving across the country with him and becoming a family. He's been wonderful to show me love and serve me and be a wonderful husband and dad to my kids. They so completely adore him.

Okay, so this part is written just a tad bit later...I wanted to share what Jack did for me. During Christmas we had planned out where we would spend our time for how long. Christmas Eve we were at his parents house and I got a call that my dad was in the ER and couldn't breathe and had congestive heart failure. As a daughter, I was a wreck and just wanted to be back there because I have hated being away and not being able to help much. However, Jack was so good and said what ever we had to do we would do. Originally, he was going to drive home alone with the kids and I would stay for a few days alone with my parents (or mom, at least, since dad would be in the hospital). But that idea just killedboth of us because we were excited to have a few days as a family before he got back to work. So we decided to go back to my parents house together and do all that we could get done together and then go home together. So after we did Christmas at his parents house, we packed up and drove back to Idaho. (I also want to put a little thank you in here to his mom and dad and sister. First of all, for being so understanding and letting us go without any question about where we should be and what about fairness of time and all that. They've always been so good about all of those things which has made it so happy to go home and we love to be in Wyoming with them because they are such wonderful people. Also, to Mom and Allisa a thank you because after Christmas morning we took three hours and pumped out 16 meals to take to my parents to freeze and have ready during all these times. Thank you! I love you all so much!) So we made it to Idaho to see my dad for a few hours before he left again for SLC to go back into the hospital which ended up being for 18 days. But Jack and I went to moms and deep cleaned and cleaned and I don't know if we did anything that made any huge impact...it actually probably hindered because we put things away where they probably didn't go...but I didn't know what I could do, but knew I could do that...and Jack was right there by my side. It was the best support I could have asked for from him and we still got to go home and be together as a family before he went to work. He's wonderful.

Another of my favorite things about him is he makes a big deal of things that I don't and need to be better at. For instance, birthdays, holidays, he doesn't forget and I'm not one who does make a big deal and I should. For Christmas, he once again surprised me (which makes 3 surprises he's pulled off since we've been married) and gotme a new bike and his brother's family got me a bike trailer and I'm LOVING it! As are my kids! He always gets me wonderful gifts and actually surprises me with them, unlike me who can't do surprises and have to tell as soon as I buy it!

I love you, Jack. You're my perfect match. Thanks for meing so wonderful!

A Few Updates!

First off, I had to change my template again. I just realized the letters were so dark I was straining my eyes to read my blog. Anyway, we have been here in Idaho since last Friday. We have had fun and Emma absolutely LOVES being with her cousins! My dad was in the hospital a few days last week and was released on Friday so we got to pick him up from the hospital on the way home and spend a few hours alone with him before joining the family. He is really weak. He waked up each moring and walks to the couch and lays down where he spends the whole day (except for pottying) until dinner which is the only meal he gets up to eat with the family. Yesterday morning he was in bed and asked me to come lay by him ad talk for a few minutes which turned up being much longer. But it was awesome. He wanted o know how I was doing emotionally and spiritually and went on to tell me very specific things he was proud of me for, which just got me teary. Then for over an hour I just asked questions and heard so many stories that I have never heard before about his childhood and mission and discussed feelings about many spiritual topics. It was such a good experience. He is so dang humble through this whole thing. He seems really at peace with everything that is going on. I don't know if I am giving he impression that my dad is dying. Truth be told. I don't know, but that is not what we or the doctors are expecting at this point. My mom and dad both said that he has improved and been much stronger even just since we have been here. It makes me wonder about the power of family and having the people around that you love. Could that really be playing a role? We sure feel like we must be draining my parents physically cause we have been staying up SO late every stinking night and doing tons of projects and it has been awesome. Ema spent the night at her cousins house last night and the story that I got was that any chance she got (including the prayer she said at their house) she asked if she could stay five more nights. Apparently Jack and I aren't too much fun. Jackson is one dang smart cookie, and I just am realizing it more and more. Nothing gets past that boy. He can hold a conversation now. He speaks some full sentences, although when I say a conversation, I mean that he knows evey single thing that I am saying and give AT LEAST a one word answer. Tonight we were eating dinner, which my dad didn't join because he was too tired, and I had taken him a plate of food to the couch. After about fifteen minutes my mom called out to ask if he was eating to which he replied no but he would get to it. Jackson got up walked straight over to him and said "eat it!" to which my dad said okay and got up and took a first bite and Jackson "okay" and walked away. Oh there are so many more stories I need to begin writing down because I'm so impressed with him. He and Emma love to dance together and both have the sountrack to HAIRSPRAY pretty much memorized. My mom got some videos tonight I'll have to try and post. Tomorrow is my five year anniversary! I'm excited! I got Jack a video ipod classic. I lost his ipod last April back in the day when I was exercising regularly. I left it at the YMCA. I was so bumbed cause it had some dang good songs! So I'm excited to give that to him. We are staying at the theme hotel where we spent our first night. It's got GREAT rooms and it's always been really surprising to me that POCATELLO has something like this! Anyway, if you want to see pictures, it is http://www.blackswaninn.com/ and I promise, it is so uch cooler in person, but you'll get the general idea. It's pretty fun and makes a hotel room a little more exciting! Anyway, hope everyone has a Merry Christmas!

Christmas is coming!

I feel like I haven't done a real blog in a while, and I make no guarantees that this will be worthy to be called a real post, also. We leave for Idaho a week from this very moment actually. I'm really excited because i love Christmas. It is my favorite holiday of the year, even though it just doesn't seem like Christmas with 70 degree weather outside. I get to see my dad, which I understand is doing just terrible so I'm anxious to get up there and be a part of his treatment and help take care of him. Being 12 hours away and before when I was 25 hours away, I keep my feelings very surfacy because I can't do a thing wih my feelings so I would probably just sit around and cry a lot...which is what I do if I allow myself to think or really talk about it which only happens with Jack. He's been rushed to the hospital twice this week, but only stayed a day which maybe i should think that that is a blessing because they wouldn't release him if it was something life threatening. But in the last 8 months he has gone from a 57 year old man to at least a 95 year old. He can barely get out of bed and is falling down constantly (fortunately not breaking hips like if he were really that age) and he can't see or taste anything because of his graft vs host disease. It's really taking over. (For those of you lost right now....my dad had bone marrow transplant less than a year ago for a rare type of cancer) Anyway, I'm excited to see him. I've been warned that it's not going to seemlike Christmas at my house either. They haven't even put up the tree yet. My mom is so tired from working and taking care of dad and dad can't get up so that's a little obvious. So I'll have my work cut out for me when I get there! We're trying to decide if we're going to go to Casper for a few days. I'm not sure where my vote lies. We've had fun with Luke and Kim whenever we're with them, but i'm not sure I want to subject the kids and myself to that many more hours in the car. I think Jack is all for it because he's supposed to get rights to the hospital there to help Luke in a surgery so of course that is swaying his vote a lot! Then we will head to Green River after that for a few days. Lots of traveling. Whoo-hoo! I gotta wonder what life will be like when we don't have to travel so long to get to family. It makes me very anxious to be done and settle down by some family. It's crazy that i've never experienced living near any family. I always imagined I would grow up and live in the same town as my parents because I had a good relationship growing up and that's what I wanted. That won't happen now, but it will be fun to at least live within a few hours driving distance! I really should be paying more attention to my kids this morning. Emma woke up and went straight to the TV without breakfast or reading a morning book or anything. I brought this on myself. I started the Twilight series like so many of you andeach one has taken me less than two days and i'm not a fast reader so that just means I ignored my kids for all that time. I started #3 last night so hopefully I can have better will power and only read when the kids get to bed...we'll see about that. I don't expect much! I'm suckered in like every other woman!

Finally I can do my tag.

SIX THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT ME.


1. The guys I dated before marriage all had similar names...Jeff DaBell, Jeff Belnap, and John Bell. I ended with Jack Benjamin Hardy, which I thought was far enough off of my trend that I was safe.

2. I am not deathly afraid of all spiders...just a certain family. HOBOS or anything that looks similar to a hobo. I lived in the basement of a rental house and my room was attached to the unfunushed part of the house. These spiders started showing up like crazy (and if you do not know they are SO FAST, and I understood they could hop, although I've never seen it done, and they are poisonous). They were under my bed, IN my bedding, when I would put clothes on, I would sometimes have one crawl over my shoulder. And I had sticky spider traps in every corner and each one had at LEAST 20 on them. It gives me chills to talk about it. My landlord sent in an exterminator and told me I was sae to clean up after a day. Jack came and helped me. He swept up two different piles that literally had hundreds in them and I continued to find dead ones in storage stuff I had in that room for months afterwards. It was awful.

3. I was anorexic in high school. I don't have many pictures of that time, but the ones I do have, I look sick. That's all I'm gonna say about that.

4. I am the kind of woman, who when I am sick and need to throw up, I would rather get it over with and puke then hold it in out of fear of throwing up. Even i I only have a few minutes of relief.

5. I have five scars on my feet from foot surgeries. I had bone spurs from playing soccer for 10 years. Not a big surgery, but I made it awful because a week after my surgery I began dancing for a couple hours a day to prepare for a tour I was going on with a highschool group (Trouveres). My incisions remained open for three months and were awful infected so that when I actually went on the tour, I was almost unable to perform except I was given painkillers from a doctor so that I could perform. I was also given a horsepill antibiotic at the time which ended up beginning my chronic yeast infection issue.

6. My chronic yeast infection issue. I'm sure you all want to know about this. After that tour, I was out of school for a month and it was the most miserable, painful month ever. I would sit in my room, not even able to wear underwear, and just crawl all over my bed in pain. The doctor called my mom an hour after my first appointment and told her in his 20+ years of practice he had never seen anything like what I had and I was in a lot of pain. Well, yes, I was. And that started my chronic yeast infections. Congratulations to me!

I will tag Natalie, Lisha, Julie Nield, Brinn, Christianne, and my brother, Luke. Sorry you had to read this, Luke.

A Solemn Day

We have a pool. We have a high gate around the pool and lock it most o the time. However, this weekend we are painting our kitchen and everything has gone to pot. My house is a mess. Jack took the cupboard fronts and drawers outside to paint and had the kids with him. I got out of the shower and went into the back bedroom to watch my family for just a minute through a glass door that we keep completely locked up because it has direct access to the pool. Anyway, I was watching Jack paint and Emma talk to her dad and Jackson throwing leaves into the pool. And, of course, the moment we have been waiting for since we moved in happened. Jackson lost his balance and went face first into the pool. I had a bowl of cereal in my hand and apparently I completely threw it (I had forgotten all about it until I went back in the room later and saw it all over the place) and I started banging on the windows and screaming at the top of my lungs to Jack, who hadn't heard or seen him fall in. He was literally ten feet away and instantly went to our helpless son who was head first in the water, not even trying to fight or move. I'm sure he had not a clue what to do. It was the most terrifyng five seconds I've ever experienced. It was awful for me to have no control to run out a grab him, even though Jack was right there. Boy, I am glad Jack was so fast to grab him. So I went running out to grab him with a towel and he just wanted to hug for a while. He was so sweet. With all the commotion and attention at Jackson, I didn't realize Emma was in her room just bawling. So I went back there and she kept telling me she wanted Jackson to be safe and we needed to lock all the doors and not let him outside or her would fall in the pool. She was pretty shook up. So we knelt and both of us said a prayer of thanks. She was so sweet in her prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for keeping him safe and then went on to tell Him all of the things that she loved about her little bother the most. I, of course, lost it somewhere in there after playing the scenario through my head over and over, realizing what could have happened. That was a warning for us to do better with this pool. The kids are never out there without us, but apparently even with us we need to be paying 100% attention. It reminds me that I need to get my kids into that program that was on Karianne's website a while back. The mood the rest of the day totally changed. I haven't really wanted to paint anymore. I just want to sit and hug my kids.

Pay it Forward!

A friend of mine is doing this and I thought that it sounded like fun.

I will send a handmade gift to the first three (3) people who leave a comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange. You may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it within 365 days! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog. (So, you must have a blog to participate.) I can't wait to see who I will be giving to. To join, just cut and paste this on your blog and comment away. So get posting!!

Our Friday Night Fun!

Today Jackson decided to walk straight off the couch. After the first time, he thought it didn't hurt too bad so he would do it again and again and again. By the time I got the camera out, the novelty wore off, but there's a good one in there!